I was looking up gender terms to help me prepare my most recent service [“God/dess (They/Them/Their”)]. In this process, I came across the term “gender apathy” and “gender apathetic”. At first the term amused me, until I read the definition and realized that it describes me pretty well. The definition of “gender apathetic” to “have no strong connection to or interest in a particular gender identity, including their own. This indifference means they may not care how they are perceived by others and are often okay with any pronouns, including their birth-assigned ones, gender-neutral ones, or others.”

Yeah, that’s kind of who I am. However.

In this time, it doesn’t feel right (for me personally, not talking about others) to settle on gender apathy or a “no labels” stance. I say this even though I think the “end game” of the LGBTQ+ civil rights movement is a world without labels — or a world where they just don’t matter much. That is, Utopia would be pretty gender apathetic, in my mind!

But I am genderqueer. This is a realization that has been solidifying for me for at least five years now, I think more. And I consider myself to be under the nonbinary umbrella (which many place under the transgender umbrella). I feel like, in these times of scapegoating the LGBTQ+ community — particularly trans and nonbinary folx — I want to name it. And I do believe that “she/they” pronouns are right for me. You can use “she/her/hers” or “they/their/theirs” for me.