Category: Social Justice

Gender apathetic

I was looking up gender terms to help me prepare my most recent service [“God/dess (They/Them/Their”)]. In this process, I came across the term “gender apathy” and “gender apathetic”. At first the term amused me, until I read the definition and realized that it describes me pretty well. The definition of “gender apathetic” to “have no strong connection to or interest in a particular gender identity, including their own. This indifference means they may not care how they are perceived by others and are often okay with any pronouns, including their birth-assigned ones, gender-neutral ones, or others.”

The nonbinary flag (yellow, white, purple, black) is up front with me at First Church Unitarian in Littleton, Massachusetts for the Closing Words on November 9, 2025.

Yeah, that’s kind of who I am. However.

In this time, it doesn’t feel right (for me personally, not talking about others) to settle on gender apathy or a “no labels” stance. I say this even though I think the “end game” of the LGBTQ+ civil rights movement is a world without labels — or a world where they just don’t matter much. That is, Utopia would be pretty gender apathetic, in my mind!

But I am genderqueer. This is a realization that has been solidifying for me for at least five years now, I think more. And I consider myself to be under the nonbinary umbrella (which many place under the transgender umbrella). I feel like, in these times of scapegoating the LGBTQ+ community — particularly trans and nonbinary folx — I want to name it. And I do believe that “she/they” pronouns are right for me. You can use “she/her/hers” or “they/their/theirs” for me.

Murder is not okay

It’s 9/11 today, and yet it has — for the first time — been overshadowed by new horror. Yesterday, in addition to the tragic shooting at Evergreen High School in Colorado, Charlie Kirk was murdered/assassinated in Utah.

I do understand why people on the left hate everything that Kirk stood for; I do too. I never paid much attention to him until yesterday, to be honest. But the more I read about his homophobic, transphobic, racist, etc. views, the more appalled I am.

“Christ breaks the rifle” by Otto Pankok.

However, it is never okay to murder someone. It’s just not. I find it strange that I have had to argue that point today. Political violence is chilling, and it’s the last thing the nation needs. Not to mention, it just makes a martyr of Kirk, in spite of his horrific views. So it’s both immoral and a bad tactic.

I feel horrible for Kirk’s wife and kids. And I’m sorry he didn’t get to live out his natural life. As a minister, I can’t help but believe that people can change, and Kirk might have redeemed himself one day. You never know. But again, either way, murder is wrong.

It seems obvious to me that this nation needs gun reform. It won’t be perfect, but it can only help. No other nation seems to have our issues with gun violence. What are people so afraid of? It’s common sense. It might not have made a difference in the case of Charlie Kirk, I don’t know. But it would have helped in some of the school shootings, and it’s hard to think of anything worse than not protecting our own children.

Busy, busy…

Usually July is a “study leave” month for UU ministers. This has been the busiest July in all my years as a parish minister! There’s just so much going on. Luckily, I love my calling. Right now I am in Pennsylvania, visiting family. It is good to get a break.

What a bizarre time we are in in the United States. That’s an understatement, I know. This whole Epstein files situation is so curious to me. I’m glad that people are taking it as seriously as it deserves to be taken. The part that I’m having more trouble comprehending is how anyone didn’t know that Tr*mp would be implicated. Haven’t we always known that he was close with Epstein and was grossly inappropriate with women, including underage females? In any case, I’m glad that more people are seeing at least that much light now. Is this, finally, the decency around which we can form something like consensus? It’s good to know there is some limit to the madness that is MAGA.

That’s one thing I’ve been pondering recently.

I’m also wondering if summer will ever feel good again. I mean, there are entirely too many 90-plus-degree days, too many heatwaves. It’s too dangerously hot all too often. I’m glad I get some time off in the summer, but the extreme heat makes it hard to make the most of many of the days, I’m afraid. If it’s 90 degrees and I have the option to be inside in AC all day, that’s what I’m going to do. But that’s not the best way to spend time off, and it makes me sad. It’s also the only time of year that I can travel (other than sabbatical), so that’s a bummer too. I’m afraid that this is just the new normal thanks to climate change.

I’ll leave it there for now. I just wanted a blog check-in for the month, in case anyone is reading!

ICE is the new Gestapo…

No, I didn’t invent this concept that “ICE is the new Gestapo”, but it sure rings true.

One of the more outrageous local ICE arrests/abductions/kidnappings was of Marcelo Gomes da Silva, a high school honor student, athlete, and band member who was arrested/abducted/kidnapped by ICE on his way to volleyball this past Saturday. ICE abducted him and detained him from Saturday through this week. Marcelo committed no crimes and has never been in any trouble with the police, either. He was what they call “collateral damage” as they were actually targeting someone else. Marcelo was born in Brazil but has been growing up in Milford, MA, since he was 7.

Local activists organized a rally outside the Chelmsford Immigration Court today. Even though it was thrown together in just a couple of days, and even though it was 90 degrees, there was an excellent turnout. After we’d been there for about half an hour, we got the excellent news that Marcelo was released on bond!

The story was covered by various news outlets. Below is the coverage by local Boston NBC (channel 10 news). It’s worth watching mainly to hear Marcelo’s own words. To my surprise, I flashed in the footage a couple of times. Must be the collar.

‘Nobody should be in here’: Milford High School student detained by ICE is released on bond

Here are a couple of screen shots of me in the crowd:

Rev. Lara Hoke in the crowd at the rally to FREE MARCELO!

I’m so glad that Marcelo is free, and hope and pray that it stays that way. I can’t imagine going through something like that when you’re just a kid. This country needs to do better and live into our promise. When did we forget that this is a nation of immigrants? Immigrants make America great. I believe it with all my heart.

New me, new you(SA)?

I’ve been thinking about these changes for a long time… I’ve been wanting to get my hair cut short. I’ve had it short a few times in my life, but it’s been a while. And I’ve wanted to wear contact lenses again. Finally, I just did it. Here’s “the new me”.

The “new” Rev. Lara Hoke

But more importantly, I’ve been getting more involved in ways to stop some of the evil of this Administration, particularly the arresting (kidnapping!) of immigrants without due process. I’ve been going to all the rallies I can. More importantly, I’m getting training from LUCE so I can really be more helpful and engaged. There are so many good people doing good things. The evil of this Administration cannot stand.

It’s not that I wasn’t doing anything before, mind you. But I’m upping my game. New me, new USA.

lgbTqia+ Solidarity

The Unitarian Universalist Association recently put out a strong statement of solidarity with the trans and nonbinary community.

It’s almost unbelievable to me that the T**** Administration is trying to push the fiction that there are just two genders when there aren’t even just two sexes. It’s willful ignorance, as usual.

I should have posted here on the Transgender Day of Visibility (TDOV), March 31. I’ll share the words now that I shared on Facebook that day: I still use she/her pronouns, but I fall under the broad trans umbrella as a genderqueer person. I’m on the “she” side of “they”. I recently heard the term “theydy” (they+lady), and that kinda works. I also relate to “demi-woman”. Nothing has really changed; I’ve always been this way. It’s only in recent times that I learned terms that describe where I am on the gender spectrum.

Anyone who knows me well really already knew this about me. But in these times, it feels important to name it.

I don’t even know what to say

What do I even blog about? I must say that, by and large, we are all under-reacting to the horrors in the United States right now under the tRUMP Administration. Do people see it? Do they get it? I know the folks who voted for Harris get it… but what about the rest? Do they have voters remorse, or do they actually think this horror show is okay? We are facing the possible end of democracy. We are certainly facing the end of the USA as we have known it. It looks, smells, and sounds like fascism. If people still can’t see it, I’m not even sure what to say.

Energy vampires…

It just occurred to me that DJT is the ultimate energy vampire. How to fight fascism without draining all of one’s lifeforce, that is an important question.

I stumbled upon this video from Oprah Winfrey. I have complex and mixed feelings about Oprah, but she makes a lot of interesting points which I am pondering.

One thing I know for sure is that the only way I will make it through these next years and hold on to my sanity and life is to find balance. And so, I will ponder this further.

I will say that I had hoped to keep whatever connections I could to those who support DJT. But now, I’m feeling that it is dangerous to remain in relationship with those who enable fascists. I am rethinking many things. This isn’t the time to be wishy washy.

How is dystopia working out for you?

Good morning and greetings from the post inaugural dystopian hellscape! How are you resisting today? I’m going to learn more about rights in dealing with ICE today. We have to stand up for our immigrant and refugee siblings. Here’s one useful link, if you’d like to resist ICE: How US Citizens Can Protect The Immigrant Community from the Deportation Force. What are you up to today?

And now for something completely different…

The Beatles from the White Album photos.

In an effort to stay sane, I’m going to try to post “fun stuff” along with the resistance, because joy is indeed an act of resistance (thank you, Audre Lorde).

I’m a huge Beatles fan. I love all The Beatles albums, and everything including and after Rubber Soul is indeed a masterpiece. I have always been a bit thrown, though, by the so-called “White Album”. It’s the only double album by The Beatles, and it’s very uneven. I’ve always thought that if they’d used their usual discretion as to what was “worthy” and made it a single album, it would be among their very best.

I took the liberty of creating my own version of “The White Album” as a single album, and created a “Beatles Novelties” with the leftovers. Here is what those two albums look like:

(Lara’s cut) “White Album”

Side A:

Back in the USSR

Dear Prudence

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da

While My Guitar Gently Weeps

Happiness Is a Warm Gun

I’m So Tired

Savoy Truffle

Blackbird

Side B:

Revolution 1

Why Don’t We Do It in the Road

I Will

Birthday

Mother Nature’s Son

Sexy Sadie

Helter Skelter

Julia

Tell me that’s not an amazing album!?!? If you have Amazon/Prime Music, you can listen to this version here.

This is what the other album would look like:

(Lara’s cut) Beatles White Album Novelties

Side A:

The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill

Wild Honey Pie

Honey Pie

Glass Onion

Piggies

Yer Blues

Martha My Dear

Side B:

Rocky Raccoon

Don’t Pass Me By

Everybody’s Got Something to Hide

Long Long Long

Cry Baby Cry

(Bonus) You Know My Name (Look Up My Number)

Good Night

Revolution 9

If you have Amazon/Prime Music, you can listen to this version here. What would your version of these two albums look like?